Mere Ruthne Pr Mere Dost Ke Sath Bhag Gyi Kutti, Kamini, Haramzadi

Teachar to GOLU-15 August ko kya hua tha?
GOLU:Mai paida hua tha
mere sath india bi azad hua Mai fir se gulaam ban gaya hu
Q K meri SHADI Ho gai

----------------------------
1 Car ki nilami ho rhi thi 1lakh,2la,3la
GOLU shocked-Is khatare me aisa kya h
Seler-Iske 10 acidnts hue h & hr bar sirf Bv mari h
GOLU:6 Lakh
---------------------------------
Bv: Maine suna hai k Jannat me Mardon ko Hooren milegi
To aurton ko kya milega
.
.
.
.
.
PATI: Kuch nahi,Khuda sirf mazloom ki sunta hai
----------------------------
Demotion of Sal'manKhan

2009-Wanted=IPS
2010-Dabang=Inspctor
2011=BodyGuard

UpcomingFilms-
2012=SecurityGuard
2013=WatchMan
2014=Postman
-------------------------------
Aaj b nikalti hai wo kisi aur ke sath
Zulfe lehra k mast adao k sath
use kya pata wo ho jayegi jal k khak

Jab hum niklenge biwi bachon k sath
===================================
GOLU ko 1000 ka note mila, Jispe lika tha, HAPPY NEW YEAR
Usne apni jeb se 1000 ka note nikala us pe SAME TO YOU likha
aur wahi rakh ke chala Gya
----------------------------
TEACHER ka darja MAA se bhi ucha Q hota hai?
Answer
maa LORI se 1 bacche ko sulati hai
bt
teacher LECTURE se puri class ko sulati Deti Hai
-----------------------------------
Postman to Santa-Mai Aapka Packet Dene Ke Liye 5 Mile Se Aaya Hu
Santa-Itne Door Se Kyu Aaya be Bewkuf Post Hi Kar Dete
---------------------------------------
NOW DIS IS WAT A PJ IS

Girl- Kabi kabi mai yeh 'sochti' hu-
Agar main "BORING" hu...
Toh
.
.
.
.

Mere muh se pani Q nahi aata..
-------------------------------
Pati-Na Kajre Ki Dhar
Na Motiyo Ke Haar
Na Koi Kiya Singar
Fir B Kitni Sundar Ho..

Patni-Kaminey Saaf Bol Na
MAKE-UP
K Liye Paise Nahi Dunga
--------------------------
Duniya ka sbse bada atankwadi hamla

Kisika mobile lo.Phone book me jake "delete all" kr do
Fir mobile wale ka chehra dkho Or thoda sa muskura do
-----------------------
Shcool ke Dino me Pyar Hua,

Propose Kiya Letter Dekar
Jawab Aaya Kitaab me Chupkar
Kbi mulakat hui hi Nhi
Qki Kitab Kbi hmne chui hi nhi
----------------------------
1 machar tufan me tha
Raste me 1 bada ped mila
Usse lipat gya
Tufan chala gya to machr pasina poch k bola-
Agr aj mai nai hota to ye ped gir jata
------------------------------
TAJJUB Hai-
Aap jaise smart log bhi
road ke kinare katori
lekar khade hote hai,
AKHIR KYUN
Sirf do char,
Panipuri k liye
-------------------------------
Girlfriend-promise karo mujhe kabhi touch, kiss, I LOVE YOU ke liye force nahi karoge.
Boy-Behan tu ghar ja, Tere mummy papa chinta kar rahe hoge
------------------------------------
Arz Karta Hu..
Itne khuddar the hum ke kbhi school na jate the

DOSTO

Wo to ladkiyo ke shauk-e-deedar ne
graduation karwa diya
----------------------------------
GOLU: Lijiye Na Aur RASGULLE
Mehman: Nahi Shukria Mai Pehle Hi 4 Le Chuka Hu

GOLU: Waise Liye To Apne 7 Hy
Lekin Khair Yaha Gin Kon Raha Hai
--------------------------------------
India K Nojwan Nasal K Bigrne Ki Waja?

Media?? Internet??

Nahi

1st Year Ki Urdu Ki Ghazlen
Ache Se Ache Bache
Ko Aashiq Bana Deti Hen
---------------------------------------
Ques: do din tak lagatar barsat kyu nahi ho sakti ?

Ans: Qki bich me raat bhi hoti hai

Bachpan se intelligent hu par kbhi ghamand nhi kiya
---------------------------------------
Kisine mujse apki Umar puchi
maine kaha-
Chehre se 16 Yrs
Kapdo se 19yrs
hansi se 7yrs
Ankho se 8 yrs.
Kul mila kar 50 SAAL kam to nahi btayi n
---------------------------------------
Agar Koi Ladki Ghar mein bhi Make up kr k Ghumay tu Samj jao k
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Uske pass Webcam Hai
--------------------------------
GF-Agr main tumse juda ho jao'n tou tmhe'N kc taklif hogi?
BF:wesi taklef hogi jc naak ka choha naak mei sookh jaye usko nikalta waqt hoti hy
------------------------------------
Husband TV K Samne Baitha Ro Raha Tha
Wife:Tum Kaunsa Serial Dekh Rahe Ho Jo Itna Ro Rahe Ho
Husband:Ye Serial Nhi H Humari Shadi Ki DVD Hai
---------------------------------------------
4 Rishte Be-naqaab Ho
Jaty Hyn

1- Burhapey Mein Aulaad

2- Museebat Mein Dost

3- Ghurbat Mein Biwi

Aur

4- Sales Na Hoon Tou
Manager .
------------------------------
Young Generation Ko Sbse Zyada Tention Kb Hoti Hy?

Tab Hoti Hy Jb Wo So Kr Uthen Or Unka Mobil Ami K Pas Ho!

(.")/ Mama Hum
-------------------------------
>Ladki Ek Item Hoti Hain

>Bole To

>I:Intaligante
>T:Talentade
>E:Ek
>M:Mushibat

Ha Ha Ha Ha
------------------------------
Girl1:Mujhe mere lover k sath bike me jate mere papa ne dekh liya
Girl2:Acha fir kya hua?

Girl1:Fir kya unhone bus k paise wapas mang liye!
-------------------------------------------
MOLU to GOLU-Yaar suna he 2012 tk duniya khatm ho jygi
GOLU:Aisa nahi hoga maine kal washing machine khridi hy us p 2014 tk ki guarnty hai
-----------------------------------
1 baat hamesha yaad
rakhna..
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

TRAIN Kabhi Panchar Nhi Hoti
--------------------------------------------
Patni Pati Ko Samjhate Huye-Tum Mujhse Vaada Karo Ki Tum Kabhi Juwa Nai Kheloge
Pati -Par Tumse Shaadi Kar Ke Bhi To Mai Ek Juwa Hi Khel Raha Hu
---------------------------------------
GOLU Ki Girlfriend GOLU se:Kya Shaadi Ke Baad Bhi Tum Mujhe Itna Pyar Karoge

GOLU:Kyo Nahi Lekin Tumhare Husband Se Pooch Lena My Swt Heart..
---------------------------------
Santa: Tumne Ek Upanyas Likha Hai Na?
Kuchh Bika?
Banta: Bika Na, Anguthi, Scooter, Aur Biwi Ki Churiyaan!
----------------------------------
Jab Wo Girlfriend Thi
Mai Bolta Tha Wo Sunti Thi
Mangetar Bani, Wo Bolti, Mai Sunta Tha
Jabse Biwi Bani, Hum Dono Bolte Hai,
Mohalla Sunta Hai
-------------------
Police : Madam darwaja kholo aap ke pati truck ke neeche aa kar Paapad ban Gye hai

Lady : To darwaja kholne ki kya jarurat h
Niche se sarkaa do
-----------------------------------
Aaj ka vichar
"Duniya ka sabse achchha beta, har maa k paas hota he
lekin duniya ki sabse achchhi biwi,
har padosi k paas hoti he..... its true
----------------------------------
Santa-Aasaan ko english me kya kehte hain.?

Banta-Pata Nahi yaar itne EASY word k meaning yAAd nahi aa raha
---------------------------------
SACHIBAAT:
Kisi ki Shakal itni buri nhi hoti jitni us k voter-card 'me hoti hai

Or itni sunder b nhi hoti jitni Facebook ki profile 'me hoti hai
----------------------------------
Sir:Tere papa kal kyu daawat diye the?
Boy: Sir, Aap aaye the?
Sir: Haan
Boy: Apko nai malum?
Sir: Nhi
Boy: Sir,wo 11fakiro ki dawat thi
----------------------------------
Sukhi vaivahik jeevan ka raz
.
.
.

Khud ko Sher samzo
.
.
.
.aur
.
Biwi ko
.

?

R I N G
M A S T E R
-----------------------------------
Khub jamega rang jab mill baithenge 3 yaar

Aap

Mai

Or

.
Thappad padega

Agar BAGPIPER ka khayal b aya.

ONLY SPRITE
SIDHI BAAT No bakwas
----------------------------------------------
INVITATION 2 all my Frnz
4 the ''FRNDSHIP DAY" Party
On 7 Aug
6pm onwrds
Unique Hall
68th Floor
Twin Towers
London

Koi Bahana Nai Chalega
AANA H
-----------------------------------
BV apne shrabi pati ko sudharne k liye kale kapde pahen kr ghar k bahr khadi hui
Pati:Tum Kon
BV:Chudail
Pati:Haath mila
Mai teri behen ka pati
------------------------------------
GOLU ne Book Pe I Love U Likh Ke teachar ko Di..
Teachar-Ye Kya Hai
GOLU-Mam,Apne hi to Kaha Tha Jo Dil Me Aaye Wo Likh Do..to Likh Diya
-------------------------------
Pehle Amitabh Bacchan Kehte
The
Rishte Me To Hum Tumhare Baap Lagte H

Or Ab Kehte H
"Buddha Hoga Tera Baap"
.
Apne Hi Jaal Me Fas Gaya
BUDDHA..
------------------------------------
Doctor-Kya Pareshani Hai...?
Marij-Doctor Sahab Mujhe behad Emotional Sadma Paucha Hai,Mujhe Abhi Pata chala hai Ki Mere Sas Sasur Kangal Hai
-----------------------------------
Patni-Aji Ye Jo Ap Jeans baar Baar Upar Khichte Ho..Bahut bura lagta hai
Pati-Mera Khayal hai Agar Mai Jeans Upar Na Khichu To Or Bhi Bura Lagega
------------------------------------
Ae maut tu kbhi aaye to muje or sirf muje batana, Mere dosto ko nhi
Bcz

.
.

Saale sab kamine he,Pata chala to uski bhi party mangege
---------------------------------
Teachar-Tumhare Papa Kya Kaam Krte Hai
GOLU-Garmi me ICS sardiyo Me PCS
Teachar-Kya
GOLU-Ice cream Selar in summar or Pakoda Chat Selar in wintar
-----------------------------------
Style Of Break Up-
BF Ne GF Ko Rocket Gift Kiya
GF-What The Hell Is This?
BoyFriend-Tujhe Chand Taare Chahiye The Na, Is Par Baith Aur Nikal
---------------------------------------
Question of the Day..?
Ladkiyo Ko Kabhi
Heart Attack Kyu Nahi Aata..?

.
Kyun ki
.

.

.
Unke Pass Dil Hi Nahi Hota...!
----------------------------------------
Boyfriend-Mai tumhare liye Duniya ke Aakhiri Kinare Tak Ja Sakta Hu
Girlfriend-Acha...Lekin Ye Vaada Kro Ki Waha Se Kabhi Laut Kar Nahi Aaoge
--------------------------------------
Teachar-Microsoft ke Product Ke naam batao..
MONU-Ms Word
SONU-Ms Power point
MOLU-Ms Excel

GOLU kafi der sochne ke baad bola
Ms Dhoni.....
---------------------------------------
GOLU-: Aaj maine machar ko confused kar diya
MOLU-:wo kaise.Bhai..?
GOLU-: Maine machardani bed par laga di aur mai bed ke neeche so gaya.!
--------------------------------------
Meri har khata ko maaf kar dena ye soch kar doston....
.
.
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.
.
ke
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
tum kaun se shareef ho...
------------------------------------
Dava & Daru Me Kya Diffrance Hy

Dava Girl Friend Hy
"JISME EXPIRY DATE HOTI HAI "
Or
Daru Wife Hy
JITNI
PURANI HOGI
UTNA SIR CHADKE BOLEGI
-----------------------------
GOLU-Apne Mujhe bday Pe jo cycle Gift ki thi Wo kaha Gaya
Baap-Wo to maine bech di
GOLU-Kyu bechi Papa..?
BAAP-Tere bday ka bill jo bharna tha
---------------------------------
Wo mujhse milne bhi aai to apne
mehboob ke sath

AB Tum Hi Batao Ke Ye Seedha Seedha.

aeDOSTO

Ye

.

.
"harami pan"

Hai Ki Nahi ?
--------------------------
2 lovers in DOMINOS..

Boy: kya khaogi jaan?
.
Girl: samose mangwa lo...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Moral: Aur phasao dehati maal...!!
-------------------------------------------
Ajeeb C Halat He Tre Jane K Bad

Bhuk Ni Lgti Khana Khane K Bad

Mere Pas 8 Samosy The Jo Mene Kha Liye

1 Tere Ane Se Phle 7 Tere jane k baad
--------------------------------------
GF-Mai kisi aur se shadi kar rahi hu
Tum muje bhul jao.

Boyfriend-Na tere aane ki khushi
Na tere jane ka gam
Ja bahen ja
Dusri pata lenge hum
-----------------------------------
Dangerous Shayari:
Nazro Se Utar Kr,Dil Me Bas Gayi Mere Sapno Ki Shehzadi

Mere Ruthne Pr Mere Dost Ke Sath Bhag Gyi
Kutti, Kamini, Haramzadi
------------------------------------

TT:Cm,lets go! S:Wer? TT:Lord Krishna'a birth plce,Jail.:D----sms

Zindgi ki har ek udaan baaki hai
Har mod pe ek imtihan baki hai
Abhi to sirf Aap hi pareshaan hai Mujhse
Abhi to pura Hindustaan baaki hai
---------------------
BOY-AaP Meri Wife Jaisi Lagti Ho

GIRL-Oh,
Aapki Wife Ka
Naam Kya Hai?

BOY-Main
Abhi Kunwara
Hu.,
-
MORAL-Sikhiye ProPose Karne Ka Naya Tarika
-----------------------------------
Is zamane me "AADARSH" Patni kise kehte hai?

Jo Bartan, Kapde, Jadu, Pocha..
In short, ghar ke sabhi kaam..

Karne me Pati ki help kare wo..
-------------------------------
Aaj Ka Vichar-
Duniya Ka Sabse Acha Beta Har Maa Ke Paas Hota He.
Lekin Duniya Ki Sabse

Achchhi Biwi,
Har Padosi Ke Paas Hoti He.
Ha ha ha.
--------------------------
1Baar GOLU kO
Raste mE Patthar Mila
UspE Likha Tha
"Patthar kO Palat Lo Kch Ban Jaoge"

Jaise Hi Usne Palta
Dusri Taraf Likha Tha
"Bewkuf Ban Gya
-------------------------------
(After Marriage)
Santa: Oye, Bhabhi ka kya naam he?

Banta: Google Kaur!

Santa: Aisa Q?

Banta: Sawaal 1 karo, Jawaab 10 milte he
------------------------------
Door se dekha to

Salmaan apni pant sukha raha tha..
.
aur

Pass ja k dekha to
.
.
.
.
.

Wo dhinka chika dhinka chika pe Nach Raha tha
-------------------------------
In Barishon Se Keh Do Kahin Or Ja K Barsein
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ye INDIA Hai Yahan Light Chali Jati Hy Barish Aane Se

(',')
<))>
_/|_ Haan Ni T0..
--------------------------------------
God-what ur wish?

student-plz Mujhe meri school life louta de.
God-beta Maine Tumhe Mannat Mangne ko kaha tha
"Jannat"nahi..
-----------------------------------
Santa: Aaj tere cell pe bade I L0vE U ke msg aa rahe hai
Kya baat hai?
Banta: (Fakr ke saath)
O kuch nahi g
Aaj WIFE ka cell laya hu.:)
-----------------------------------
Which 3 Letters Can Change a Girl Into a Women.?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Think..

?

?

?

?

Think Hard..

?

?

?

?

?

AGE
-----------------------------------
Ek Aadmi bakriyan chara rha tha.
Chikku-in bakriyo ko kaha le ja rhe ho?
Aadmi-school le ja rha hu
Chikku-mujhe pagal smjha hai ky
aaj to sunday h
-------------------------------
I bought a packet of
air,
I was surprised to see that,
.
.
.
There were few chips in it. :O :D.
.
.
Dedicated to Lays!
-------------------------------
D most serious Ques. in a Girl's mind...
.
.
.
Evry girl in d world thinks abt it evry day...
"MERE PASS TO KAPDE HI NAHI HAI

AAJ MEIN KYA PEHNU
-------------------------------
Wen u fall horribly,
A frnd vl hlp u to gt up,
A gud frnd vl laugh at u,
&
ur best frnd wil,
.
.
.
clik ur photo n upload on "Facebook". :-D
-----------------------------------------
Life me Hamesha Haste,
Gaate aur Muskurate raho...
Taki Tumhe Dekhte hi Log Samajh jaye ki...
.
..
...
....
.....
U r UNMARRIED..:-;-)
Think Hatke
----------------------------------
Isse Bada Pj Kaha Milega-

Girl 2 Shopkeeper: Aapke Paas Calculator Hai.?

Shopkeeper: Casio..?
Girl: Mai Thik hu, Aap Sunao. :p :D
---------------------------------------
husband's story
20 years ago wn i used 2 returnHOME my new DOG welcomed me by BARKING & my new WIFE by KISSING
Now they've exchanged their habits
----------------------------------
Ladka- Bade Zalim Hai Tere Gali Ke Bacche

Ladki- Kyu, Kya Huwa

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ladka- Kutte Piche Laga Ke Kehte Hai

'PYAR KIYA TO DARNA KYA'
------------------------------------
Patient- Dr Saab, Ye Phulo Ki Mala Kish K Liye Hai

Dr- Ye Mera Pehla Operation Hai..

Kamyab Huya To Mere Liye

Nahi To

Tumhare Liye
-------------------------------
Shrabi Road Pe Pada Tha

Police- Itni Q Pi Rakhi Hai

Shrabi- Mazburi Thi Sir

Police- Kya Mazburi Thi

Shrabi- Bottle Ka Dhakkan Gum Ho Gaya Tha
-----------------------------------
Sonu Ne HAJAMAT Ki Dukan Kholi

Monu SHAVE Karane Aya

Sonu- Muchh Rakhni Hai

Monu- Ha

Sonu (Muchh Kaat K)- Le Rakh Le, Jahan Rakhni Hai Rakh Le
-------------------------------------------
Ladki- Agar Mai Mar Jau To Tum Kya Karoge

Ladka- Mai Bhi Mar Jaunga

Ladki- Par Kyu

Ladka- Kabhi Kabhi Zyada Khushi Bhi Jaan Le Leti Hai
------------------------------------
Ek Bewafa Ki Yaad Me Maine Hatho Me JAM Utha Liya

Phir Lagaya Bread Pe
Aur Fatafat Kha Liya

Note-Sare Ashiq BEWDE Nahi Hote, Kuch BHUKE B Hote H
-----------------------------------
Judge- Tumhari Koi Aakhri Khwaish Hai To Bolo

Mujrim- Aapki Beti Se Shaadi, Nokia N8, 5 Crore Rupees, US Ka Visa, 2 Saal Ka Honeymoon, 6-7 Bache
-----------------------------------
Facebook keeps suggesting me "The pple u may know"
But wen I try to add them..
It again says
"Do u know them personally?" Lolz:D
--------------------------------------
Hum Aapko Btaenge Ki Aapka AaneWala Kal Kya He

Wait

Searching

Myne Pata Lga Liya K Aapka AaneWala Kal

Sunday He.:-*
------------------------------
Life would be perfect if gr'ls had MUTE BUTTONS, guys had EDIT BUTTONS, hard times had FAST FORWARD BUTTONS, & good times had PAUSE BUTTONS.:D
----------------------------------
Santa: Mai Ek Bar Apne Ghar Me Bath'room Gya To Waha Sher Tha.
Banta:Fir Kya Hua?
S: Mene Sher Ko Kaha Pehle Tu Karle Mera Toh Apne Aap Ho Gaya.:P
----------------------------------
1 Sunar Ki BV Ko
1O1 Bacche The
Media Wale Unke
Ghar Pahuch Gye

Reportr-Kya Ye 1O1
Bachhe Aapke H?

BV: Ni
1OO Sunaar Ki 1 Luhaar Ki.:-P
-
NjoY!
-------------------------------
Deadliest PJ ever:

Q- Wat wud u call one-fourth of Harbhajan Singh?

.
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.
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.
.

Ans-'Pav Bhajji !' ;)
--------------------------------
Isse Bada Pj Kaha Milega-

Girl 2 Shopkeeper: Aapke Paas Calculator Hai.?

Shopkeeper: Casio..?

Girl: Mai Thik hu, Aap Sunao. :p :D
----------------------------------
TT:Tckt plz
Saint:I dont hav
TT:Wer do u wnt 2 go?
S:Lord Ram's birthplce, Ayodhya!
TT:Cm,lets go!
S:Wer?
TT:Lord Krishna'a birth plce,Jail.:D
---------------------------------

AutoWala- Bus Stop Tak Ke 20/Rs Santa- Samaan Bhi Hai Saath Me----sms

What Will Rajnikant Complain

To A Dentist...?

.

.

.

.

.

Think....

..

.

Doctor Sahab

Raat Ko Paani Pee Raha Tha To

Daant Me TITANIC Phans Gaya

--------------------------

Mere chup rehne se naraz na hua kro dost

suna h k smart log kam bola krte h

<(',')> oh my god

)( mummy meri

_//_ nazar utaro

---------------------------

Patni- Soch Rahi Hu Ki Apni Sari Daulat Kisi Sadhu Ko Daan Kr Du (Tabhi Pati Uth K Jane Laga.)

Patni- Aab Tum Kaha Ja Rahe Ho

Pati- Sadhu Ban'ne

---------------------------------

Majnu laila ke liye pyar se laya rose,

Majnu laila ke liye pyar se laya rose

Laila ka attitude to dekho Wo

boli-Bhaag bhaag

d.k bose d.k bose

-------------------------------

Boy- Do U Love Me?

Girl- Yes.

Boy Starts Running..

Girl- Where r U Going.?

Boy- I'm Going To Update My Relationship Status On 'facebook

-------------------------------

Zindgi Ki Suruat S se Hoti Hai

S4 Suraj

S4 Subah

S4 Sham

S4 Samay

Us k Bad

S 4 Sagai Ho Jaye

Fir

Shadi

Fir Saas,Sasur

Sali,Sala

Fir

Styanaas

-------------------------

Hum tumhari Chaahat me itni

Door nikal aye h

JAAN

Ki ab Rikshay wala waapis jane ke

500Rs

Maang raha Hy

(.")

/ )

/\_

Ab pedal hi aa rha Hu

-------------------------------

GOLU: Hum Itne Garib hai ki humare paas Ek kutta bhi nhi hy

MOLU: Ha Bhai

Raat me chor aa jae to hum dono me se kisi Ek ko bhaunkna padta hy

-----------------------------------

Ek shop k bahar Likhi Gayi Best Line-

Udhaar sirf 80 se 90 Saal ki Umar k logon ko diya jayega

.

.

.

.

Wo bhi Un ke Maa Baap se pooch kar.

-------------------------------------

Ache Acho ne hmare aage pani bhara he

Wah Wah

Ache Acho ne hmare age pani bhara he

Qk

'SARKARI HANDPUMP' mere hi ghar k bahar laga he

-----------------------------------

Police-Aap Belt Pehen Kar Drive Kar Rahe Hai Aapko Rs5000 Ka inam Diya Jata Hai

Aap Iska Kya Kroge

Santa-Mai Is se Apna Driving Licence Banwaunga

------------------------------

A Friend Of Mine Said: "0nions Are The Only Food That Makes You Cry

That Was Before I Hit Him In The Face With A Watermelon.

--------------------------------

A boy romantically to his gf: I can see d whole world in ur eyes..

A passerby listens n says:

.

road pe kitna traffic hai zara dekhna :p

------------------------

U R One Of D Most CUTE

Persons In D World!!

Just A Second,Dnt

Misunderstand.

CUTE Means:

Creating

Useless

Troubles

Everywhere..he he he lolz

----------------------------------

Power of Gals:

A Boy Makes a Mistake,

Gal Scolds him,

Boy says"Sorry"

Nxt time Gal Makes a Mistake,

Boy Scolds her,

Girl Cries

Boy Says 'Sorry";-)

------------------------

A NEGATIVE person sees d glas of watr half empty

A POSITIV persn sees it half full

Bt u b REALISTIC persn. Add 60 ml whisky 2 it &say CHEERS.

------------------------------------

A guy sitting wit his gf, drinkng beer sys,"I love u".

gal says-"is it u or d beer talkng?".

boy replies,"its me.

talking 2 my beer, u shut up"

------------------------------

Teacher-Ye kiska Signature he

"@@@@@@@"

Student-Meri mummy ka.

Teacher-aisa kaisa naam hai?

Student-Ji,wo unka naam hai "JALEBI BAI" :D

---------------------------------

Ek Dum Latest And Jhakaas Way 2 Propose..

Boy : Xsuse Me

Girl : Jee Kahiye

Boy : Mere Hone Wale Bacho Ki Taraf se Apko Happy Mother's Day..

------------------------------------

"COLLEGE n SCHOOL are d nickname of HEAVEN"

Hmmm.....

Dats y it is said dat

"COUPLES r made in HEAVEN.

JOKEZONE

By

Avneet

(name of smiles)

------------------------------------

Usne Mujhe Raat Ko Kabaristan Me Akela Chhor Diya Dosto.. 

. 

. 

Ye Keh Kar Ki.. 

. 

. 

. 

.

.

.

.

'Pyar Kiya to Darna Kya'

----------------------------------

Height Of Oohh Shit-

A Boy Throws a Love Letter To a Girl, But It Falls On Her Brother

.

.

.

.

And

Her Brother Was Gay..

Oohh.. Shitt..

-----------------------------------

Bohat Dabaya Pait Magar Nahi Aya Poon

Wah Wah

Bohat Dabaya Pait Magar Nahi Aya Poon

Lekin Jab Aaya Poo

To Sab Ne Kaha

Oooon Hooon

Oooon Hooo

-----------------------------------

Police Ki Vardi Ka Rang Khakhee Hai

.

.

Police Ki Vardi Ka Rang Khakhee Hai

.

.

Fir Kya

.

.

4 Baj Gaye Lekin Party Abhi Haki Hai

---------------------------------------

Santa- Tumhara Shop Ka Doodh Kharab Hai..

..Sharbat Me Dala To Paht Gaya

Doodh Wale Ne Pucha-

Konse Sharbat Me Dala Tha

Santa-

LIMBU PANI Me

----------------------------------

RimZhim RimZhim

' , ' , ' , ' , '

' , ' , ' , ' , , '

, __,____, ,

/____,_/ \ .;';';.

l__[]__l_ l ,,)(,,

Enjoy The 1st Rain..

HAPPY MONSOON

---------------------------

AutoWala- Bus Stop Tak Ke 20/Rs

Santa- Samaan Bhi Hai Saath Me

AutoWala- Samaan Free Hai

Santa- OK, Samaan Le Chal..

..Mai Paidal Aata Hu

-------------------------------

KYA APKE TOOTHPASTE ME NAMAK Hai----sms

Lady 2Dr-Inki Bimari theek karo,Ye raat me zor-zor se mera naam pukarte he

Dr-Aap to lucky ho

Lady-Nhi,kal inki biwi mayke se aane wali he
--------------------------------------------
Love v/s Daru
Luv-pagal banata h
Daru-mood fresh krti h
Luv-me nend nhi ati h
Daru-p k nend achi ati h
Luv-me date k 2000/-
Daru-1 botle k 350/
------------------------------
1 baat hamesha yaad rakhna.
2 Cheeje kismat walo ko milti hai

1- Samose k sath extra Chatni.

... Aur

2- Without Boyfrnd wali acchi Patni
----------------------------------
A New poster outside the bank for the year 2015..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Petrol Loans available here
-----------------------------------------
Judge-Aab Agar Kisi Ne Bhi Shor Kia Toh Usse Bahar Kar Dunga

Quedi Chillaya-O.O.Ha.Ha.Hee Hee.Ho.Ho

Mai Cheekh Raha Hu, Mujhe Bahar Kar Do
-----------------------------------------
Puri LIFE ko Sudharne k liye 1 WIFE kafi he

Par 1 WIFE ko sudharne k liye puri LIFE b kam he

-Swami Dukhiya Nandji
------------------------------------
Ye sms jin SMART logo ko milta h wo 5sec bad behosh hojte h
1

2

3

4

5

nhi hue na

smrt hote to behosh hote

Muje to 2din bad aj hosh aaya hy
----------------------------------------
Child- dad i too wants to become a doctor as you.
Dad-what qualification are there to you to become a doctor.
child-my hand writing
------------------------------------
TATA motors COMDEDY:

Sir-What will you call 2nd & 3rd editions of NANO car?
M.D-Sodium nitrite & Sodium Nitrate. Because it will be NaNO2 & NaNo3
---------------------------------------------------
Lady 2 Dr-Inki Bimari th!k karo,Ye raat me zor-zor se mera naam pukrte he

Dr-Aap to lucky ho

Lady-Ni,kal inki bv mayke se lautne wali he.:p
-----------------------------------
Funny Quote:
Edison made many mistakes & found a BULB. But today if we make a single mistake,we are called a BULB....

CRAZY WORLD..
-----------------------------------------
POEM 4 U
Ink is red
Sky is blue
A friend like u
Should be kept in zoo!!;-)

Dont get angry, u will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at U
------------------------------------
She said:
Give Me some Punishment for Loving you!
.
I told Her Dad that She is Loving Me...
Hope you Understand what Happened Next.. :-P
----------------------------------------------
Ladkiya Ek Dusre Ko Gift Deti He
Flower
Perfume
Necklace
Earrings
Suit
Ladke Kya Dete H?

ANS-Ye Le Ladki Ka Number,Bas mera naam mat batana.
---------------------------------------------
A psychological report:
When 2 Indian Couples come face 2 face

' WIVES ' look at each other's Sarees &

' HUSBANDS ' look at each other's Wife
----------------------------------
New Theory:-

Argument wins the person, but loses the relation. So don't argue with ur friends just..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Slap them & say, kam bol kam.
---------------------------------------
Ldke Ne Prpose Kiya
Ldki Ne Mana Kr Diya

Ldka-3O Din Tere Ghar K Niche Khda Rhunga

30ve Din Ldki- I Lv U

Ldka-Chal Hatt,Teri Padosn Set Ho Gayi
------------------------------------
Height Of Behaving Cool..

Professor To Sonu-

Nalayak, Class Me Mobile Pe Baate Kyu Kr Raha Hai

Sonu-

Sir, Mere Messages Free Nahi Hai Isliye
-------------------------------------------------
Heere Me Chamak Hai Aur Sone Me Damak Hai

Heere Me Chamak Hai Aur Sone Me Damak Hai

Wo Sab To Thik Hai

Par

KYA APKE TOOTHPASTE ME NAMAK Hai
--------------------------------------
Jyotishi Santa Se- Badhai Ho, Aaj Tumhari Patni Ko Zarur Dhan Labh Hoga

Santa- Aap Sach Kah Rahe Hai..

..Aaj Mai Aapna Batua Ghar Bhul Aaya Hu
--------------------------------------
Sonu Ne Nayi Car Li

Aur Drive Pe Nikla

Thoda Aage Gaya To Toll Plaza Aaya

Waha Aadmi Bola- Haa Sonuji?

Sonu- Full Kar Do Yaar
-----------------------------------
Madam- Is Dashak Ki 4 Sab Se Badi Ghatnaye Batao

Student-

1.Pappu Paas Ho Gya
2.Munna MBBS Ban Gya
3.Munni Badnaam Ho Gai
4.Sheela Jawan Ho Gai
------------------------------------
Tcher: Ur Son Is Very Good But Spends Time Thinking About Gir'ls.
Mother: If U Find Solution Plz Advise, I Have Same Problem With His Father..:-P
---------------------------------------
Studnt wrote a letter
2 his fathr frm hostel
Dear dad!
No money,No fun.
ur son!
His fathr replied:
Dear son!
So sad,Very bad
ur Dad.:-D
-
-----------------------------------
BEST THIRD GRADE JOKE EVER:
Your wi'fe is your right hand.... but in the absence of your wi'fe, your right hand becomes your wi'fe......:-P
---------------------------------------
She said:
Give Me some Punishment for Loving you!
.
I told Her Dad that She is Loving Me...
Hope you Understand what Happened Next.. :-P
----------------------------------

Bv:Apne Shadi Se Phle Mri Nende Churai Thi Un K Bare M Kya Khyal H

GOLU: Tu muje 3 crore Rs de De Mai tujhe 2 month ke baad lota dunga
MOLU (after 2m)-chal apna wada pura kar

GOLU
) (
(___)
ye Le LOTA
----------------------------------------
Pati Bv Chori K BareMe Bat Kr Rhe The
PATI:Jo Chori Krta H Wo Pachtata Zaror H
Bv:Apne Shadi Se Phle Mri Nende Churai Thi Un K Bare M Kya Khyal H
-------------------------------------------
Arz Karta Hu....
Munni ki badnami dil ko bhayi

Sheela ki jawaani nayi umang layi

Ab na rahi meethi ras-malaai

Jab se aayi hai

JALEBI-BAI
------------------------------------
A For Saib
B For Kela
C For Billi
D For Kutta
E For Hathi
F For Machli
G For Bakri
H For Ghora

Ye Msg 10 Logo Ko Send Kr K Taleem Ko Mango Kre
---------------------------------------
Baarish ka zamana hai,
SMS karke aapko
satana hai,
Mousam bhi diwana hai,
10-20 SMS aap bhi kar do,
kya balance bacha k
"Sasural" lekar jana hai
-----------------------------------
Awesum msg:-
Get Married

nt for urself,
but

for the future of ur children They are getting late for school and fees are increasing day by day
----------------------------------
Faithful Husbands Go Straight To Heaven..!
!
!
!
!
!
!
While

Unfaithful Husbands Enjoy Heaven On Earth..!!

Choise Is Urs..
---------------------------------------
Rulz of Boyzzz . .

Dhoka mila jab pyar me,

zindagi me udasi chha gai,

:(

socha tha aag laga denge is duniya ko,

kambakht doosri pasand aa gai
---------------------------------------
Kisi Ko Kisi Bhi Exams Me Agar Pass Karna Ho To

Mujhe 15OOO/ Aur Aapna Roll Number Send Kar Dena

.

.

.

.

Mai Uske Liye DUA Karunga
----------------------------------
Patni- Soch Rahi Hu Ki Apni Sari Daulat Kisi Sadhu Ko Daan Kr Du

Tabhi Pati Uth K Jane Laga..

Patni- Aab Tum Kaha Ja Rahe Ho

Pati- Sadhu Ban'ne
----------------------------------

Tera TALLUQ Mere Liye 1TOHFA He KHUDA ka Jo Kbi Na TuTe Wo RISHTA H WAFA ka----sms

GOLU: oye banta machli khayega?
MOLU:nahi yaar usme kaante hote hai
GOLU: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen k kha lena
------------------------------------
Arz Karta Hu
Seene me dil Hai
Dil me dard Hai
Dard me Fariyaad Hai

Fariyaad me Gujarish
Or
Gujarish Me Ritik or Aishwarya Hai
----------------------------------
Saas ki Demand-

Ladki
Khubsurat ho
Ameer ho
Padhi likhi ho
Kam umar ho
Ghar k kam kaj me mahir ho

LAdKI ki Demand
SiMple- Saas photo me ho!
---------------------------------
Teachar-Agar aise hi padhte Rahoge to kabi b kuch bhi nai kr paoge
Student-Jb Zindagi me kuch nai banuga to mai b apki tarah ek teachar ban jauga
--------------------------------------
Reason xplained by a gal after Breakup:

Agar wo jaan b mang leta to hans ke de deti..

Par

Kambakht ne Facebook ka Password mang liya..
---------------------------------------
Journalist to SANTA: Aap Ka Favrt. Phool Kon SaHai?

SANTA: O So Nice Question...
Phoolon Me Mujhe Flower Bohat Pasand Hain. :-
-------------------------------------------
BoyFriend-Darling,Mai to Tumhare Liye Pagal Ho Chuka Hu..
GirlFriend-Ab ki hai na Tumne Samjhdari Wali Baat.
-------------------------------------------
MOLU: Me Aisa Kya Kru
k Teri Shaadi k Baad Me
Teri Biwi Ko Cinema Le Kr
Jau Aur Tu Naraz Bhi Na
Ho.
GOLU: Meri Shaadi Apni
Behen Se Kra De
----------------------------------
Uske chhor jane k baad main to marne hi wala tha..

ki achanak yaad aaya

uski cousin ne bhi apna number diya tha,,

Jaan me Jaan aa gayi:)
---------------------------------------
PATI:Khana taiyar hai?
WIFE:thodi der aur
P:Thik hai,Me Bahr kha leta hu
W: 5min ruko
PATI:5min me taiyar ho jayga
WIFE:-Nahi Me Taiyar ho jati hu
----------------------------
Reason xplained by a gal after Breakup:

Agar wo jaan b mang leta to hans ke de deti..

Par

Kambakht ne Facebook ka Password mang liya..
----------------------------------------
Funny but true :
Love is so beautiful wonderful and amazing It is best thing in the world..
.

.

until it happens to your daughter -Shakespeare.
-----------------------------------
Son-Dad,if u see a 10Rs note & a 5Rs note on d floor,which wil u take?

Dad-The 10Rs of course!

Son-Thats so STUPID!
Why not take both? ;-)
---------------------------------------
Boy(romanticly):
i wana tel u smthng
Girl
its nt gud 2 talk while eatin
(aftr eating)
G:nw tel me
Boy
der ws a cockroch in ur food
ab banle heroin
------------------------------
Air and students have the same mentality.

HOW..?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Both turn the book pages without reading..!!;-)
---------------------------------------
According to doctor,

A MAN is declared dead when his HEART ceases to BEAT
&
A WOMAN when her TONGUE ceases to MOVE-:p
-
Join ur 5 frnz & NJoY!
------------------------------------
Boss asked santa to bring 2 corner tickets for a movie to go with his GirlFriend.

Santa Brought 2 corner tickets..
.
.
.

A-1----------A-40
:p
--------------------------------------
In U.P
Mother To Dctor On Phone-Mere Bachhe Ko Current Lga He Me Kya Karun?
Dr-Pehle Aap Allah Ka Shukr Ada Kare Ki Aapki Taraf LIGHT Arahi He.:p
------------------------------------
Advocate:Talak Karvane K Rs1O,OOO Lagenge.
Husband: pagal Ho Kya?Pandit Ne Rs 1O1 Me Shadi Karvai Thi.
Advocat: Dekh Liya Na Saste Ka Natija.:-D
----------------------------------------
Intzaar karwana humko bhi sikha do
Apni dosti k album me hume b jagah do
humari dosti Aapko yaad hai ki nahi?
Hoton se na sahi msg se hi bata do
----------------------------------------
PATI:Khana taiyar hai
WIFE:thodi der aur
P:Thik hai,Me Bahr kha leta hu
W: 5min ruko
PATI:5min me taiyar ho jayga
WIFE:-Nahi Me Taiyar ho jati hu
------------------------------------
"SpeCiaL PeRsons" are part of our memories dat time can NeVeR erase & wen i'm blessed wit a person lik u, my memories r worth keeping 4ever!
-----------------------------------
Girl-Meri Skin Bahut Soft And Sensitive hai
Aur Rang Bhi Gora hai.
Main Sone Se Pehle Kya Lagau??
.
.
.

Doctor: Darwaje ki "KUNDI"!
-----------------------------------
Aap agar...

S.S.C.
H.S.C.
M.Com
B.A.
MBA
B.E.
B.ED
B.SC
M.
BBA
BCA
LLB
Y.A.
MBBS

Pass ho to batao ke'VADA PAV'ko English me kya kehate hai?;
---------------------------------
Ankho Me Basne Wala Pyara Sa Isara Ho
Andheri Raat Me Chamkta Sitara Ho
Chubh Nahi Sakti Udasi kabhi usko
Jiska Koi Dost Itna Pyara Ho.
-----------------------------------
"DIL CHEER Ke Dikhau To DARD Dhund Nai Paoge
"Wah Wah"
"Dil Cheer k Dikhaun To Dard Dhund Nahi Paoge,"Qki"
DARD To PAIRO Me H...Kab DABANE Aaoge
--------------------------------------
Tera TALLUQ Mere Liye 1TOHFA He KHUDA ka
Jo Kbi Na TuTe Wo RISHTA H WAFA ka
HM Tujko Kbi BhuLa Nhi Skenge
Tujse RISHTA H Aisa
Jaise LaB Or DuA'Ka
----------------------------------

Teri Ankhon Me Aas Ho To Meri Ho Tere Hothon Pe Pyaas Ho To Meri Ho---sms

Hum tumhari chaahat me itni door nikal aaye hain,

Aey Sanam

Ki ab Rikshay wala waapsi ka
500Rs
maang raha hai..
(.")
/ )
/\_
------------------------------
Loha Lohe Ko Kaat-Ta H
Hira Hire Ko Kaat-ta H
Apko B Ek Din kutta Katega
Qki

.

..

Kutta kisi ko b kaat sakta hai

Aap kya soch rahe the
----------------------------------
A Smile Costs Less Than ELECTRICITY
But
Gives More Light
So

Alwayz Keep Smiling

Coz

Light To Aani Nai H
Ap Apni Smile Se Hi Ghar Roshan Kro
----------------------------------
Kabhi Karte Hai Zindagi Ki Tamanna,
Kabhi MAUT Ka Intezar Karte Hai,

Wo Humse Kyu Dur Ho Gaye,
Jinhe Zindgi Se Bhi Jyada Pyar Karte Hai..
------------------------------
Teri Ankhon Me Aas Ho To Meri Ho

Tere Hothon Pe Pyaas Ho To Meri Ho

Jab Tu Bole To Lub Tere Hi Hile

Magar Un Hothon Se Aawaz Meri Ho.!!
---------------------------------
Wo So Jate He Aksar
Hume Yaad Kiye Bgair
Hame Nind Nhi Ati
Unse Baat Kiye Bgair
Kasur Unka Nhi
Hamara Hai
Uneh Chaha Bhi To
Unki ejazat Ke Bgair
----------------------------------

Sonu waiting bus in UK along with 3 girls---sms

Pati- Ji Karta Hai, Teri Zulfo Me Kho Jau, Ankho Me Bas Jau, Baho Me Jhul Jau

Patni- Ae Ji, Dev Anand Hi Rahoge Ya Kabhi Imran Hashmi Bhi Banoge
------------------------------------
DARD NAAK KAHANI-

1 Ladke Ne Kaha, 'I Love U'

To Ladki Ne Ladke Ki Naak Pe Maara

Ladke Ki Naak Me Dard Hua

Is Tarah 'DARD NAAK' Kahani Khatam
-----------------------------------
Santa Yar mai do mushkilon me Fas gya hu
Banta: Wo konsi?
S:Bv MAKE-UP kare to kharcha bardasht nhi hota.
aur na kare to biwi bardasht nhi hoti.:D
----------------------------------------
Petrol K Rate Badhne Pr Santa Bola:"Menu Koi Farak Nhi Penda. Pehle Bi 1OO Ka Bharwata Tha Ab Bi 1OO Ka Bharwata hun.":D
-
KisS2LipS is Rocking.-
------------------------------
Sonu waiting bus in UK along with 3 girls
When bus arrived, conductr pick the girl & said:No more,
Sonu: SALIYA CHAR LIYE MERI WARI NO MORE.:-*
-----------------------------------------

Imran Khan-"Daddy mujhse bola, tu galti hai meri---sms

Kbi kabi Mai sochta hu k Maine life me kya kamaya

Rupaye
No

Naam
NO

Shohrat
NO

Lekin maine kimti chiz kamayi
"FRIENDS"
or wo B

1 SE 1 KAMINE
------------------------------
Ek Ladki Ka Dil Sahi Mayino Me Kab TootTha Hai..???
.
.
.
.
.
Jab Wo Apne Jese PRINT ka Suit Mohalle Ki KaamWali Ko Pehne Dekhti Hai
----------------------------------
Perfect example of generation gap:

Aamir Khan-"Papa kehte hai bada naam karega"

Imran Khan-"Daddy mujhse bola, tu galti hai meri
--------------------------------------
Baap Ne Bete Se Kaha- Dekho Beta, Aaj Tumhari Madam Ki Taraf Se Mujhe Ek Letter Mila Hai

Beta- Aap Befikar Raho Papa, Mai Mummy Ko Nahi Bataunga
----------------------------------------
Patni- Shaadi K Shuru Me Aap Khana Khud Kam Aur Jyada Mujhe Khilate The Par Aab Aisa Q Nahi Karte

Pati- Q Ki, Aab Tumhe Khana Banane Aa Gaya Hai
--------------------------------------------

Santa Yaar mE 2 mushkilon me Fass gya hu Banta: Wo koun si?--sms

Santa Ko Raat Me Cigrette Peene Ka Mann Kiya..

Sab Taraf Maachis Dhoonda

Par Kahi Nahi Mila

.

Aakhir Me Nirash Ho Ke

Candle Bujha Ke So Gaya
-------------------------------
'The Prfct BF dosnot hesitate to spend'
.

Dosnt doubt,
Dosnt talk abt othr guls,
dosnt lie,
dosnt manipulate,
.
dosnt cheat&

:-)DOESNT EXIST:-)
-------------------------------
Sweet Flirt:
Boy:
Tumhare Pen main INK Nhi he kya?
.
Girl:
Andhe ho kya?
Chal to Rha he..!
.
Boy:
Accha to Apna mobile Number;
Likh ke Dikhao..:-*
-----------------------------------
Roye Wo Iss Kadar Unki Laash Se Lipatkar..

.

K laash khud Uthkar boli,
Le TU MARJA PEHLE
Uper hi chada ja raha hy itni Garmi me
-----------------------------
Behind my Smile is a Hurt Heart,,
Behind my Laugh, I'm Falling Apart.
Look Closely at Me nd u will See, the Person i am..
Isn't Me ANYMORE NOW!!
-------------------------------
Santa Yaar mE 2 mushkilon me Fass gya hu
Banta: Wo koun si?
S:Biwi makeup kre to kharcha bardasht nhi hota
aur na kare to biwi bardasht nahi hoti
------------------------------------

Scientists All Over The World Have Came Up With a Unanimous Answer..---sms

soninemish.com
Kehte Hain K Insan 'Pyar' Kiye Baghair Nahi Reh Sakta
Lekin
Mera Manna Hay Ke.
.
.
.

Msg Pora Parhe Baghair Bhi Nahi Reh Sakta
------------------------------------------------
soninemish.com
PART-2
3)Agar Kisi Se Dosti Karo To Dekh Lo Un Ke Pass Gernator Hai
4)Acha Dost Wohi Jo Apko Garmi Main Hawa De
--------------------------------------
soninemish.com
Santa Yaar mE 2 mushkilon me Fass gya hu
Banta: Wo koun si?
S:Biwi makeup kre to kharcha bardasht nhi hota
aur na kare to biwi bardasht nahi hoti
-----------------------------------------

soninemish.com
Wo Ruth Kr Kehti Hai Hamse,

Tumhara Toh Milna Km Ho Gaya Hai..

Us Pagli Ko Koun Smjhaye,

Ki

PETROL Kitna Mehenga Ho Gya Hai..

-----------------------------------------------

soninemish.com
How Many Hours Of Sleep Is Optimum
?
?
Scientists All Over The World Have Came Up With a Unanimous Answer..
.
.
.
.
.
.
5 More Minute Mom, Plz

-----------------------------------

soninemish.com
Pati Cigrette Pi Raha Tha To Patni Pass Aa K Boli- Kya Tum Mere Liye Ye Cigrette Chor Skte Ho

Pati- Tum To Cigrette Piti Nai, To Choru Kis K Liye
----------------------------------

soninemish.com
How Many Hours Of Sleep Is Optimum
?
?
?
Scientists All Over The World Have Came Up With a Unanimous Answer..
.
.
.
.
.
.
5 More Minute Mom, Plz
---------------------------------

soninemish.com
Santa Taklu Hai..

..Phir Bhi Wo Roz Saloon Jata Hai

.

Kyu...???

?

?

Dimag Lagao

?

?

Simple Yaar

.

.

Kyu Ke

.

.

Saloon Santa Ka Hai
--------------------------

Yu na kisi k dil se khelo, Yu na kisi ke dil se khelo--SMS

Santa Taklu Hai..

..Phir Bhi Wo Roz Saloon Jata Hai

.

Kyu...???

?

?

Dimag Lagao

?

?

Simple Yaar

.

.

Kyu Ke

.

.

Saloon Santa Ka Hai
----------------------------------
Uski Khamosi Se Dar sa Lagta He
Dur N Ho Jaye Aisa Q Lagta He
Dunia Se Cheen Lene Ka Hosla He Mujh me
Lekin Wo Saath Na Degi
Aisa Q Lagta He
---------------------------------
Ansu hote nahi bahane k liye
gum hote hai pi jane k liye
sacche dost kabhi bichadte nahi
kuch dur ho jate hai, jyada kareeb ane k liye
--------------------------------------
Arj kiya hai,

Yu na kisi k dil se khelo,

Yu na kisi ke dil se khelo,

Jab sms hi nahi karna h to,

Phone bechkar Radio hi lelo.
-----------------------------------

Me Ek Gunah Har Baar Q Karta Hu? Har Sajde Me Use Hi Yaad Q Karta Hu?---sms

Height of disappointment:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
:p
------------------------------------
Ek sacha dost wahi h jo apka pehla ansu poch le,
Dusra asu rok le,
or agar tisra ansu aya to jor se thapad mare or kahe
"Le Ab Khul K Ro Le".:P
-----------------------------------------
Ek Tasveer Jo Khawabo Ko Saja Jati He
Kitne Soye Hue Jazbaat Jaga Jati He
Aaj Bhi Unki Yaandien Akele Me
Muskaan BanKar Lab Par Khil Jati He!!
-----------------------------------------
Ek Nazar Ki Aas Me Reh Jaoge,
Iss Tarah Na Dekho Warna Dekhte Reh Jaoge,
Keh Do Hume DiL Ki Baat,
Sochoge Toh Zindagi Bhar Sochte Reh Jaoge.!!
----------------------------------------
Me Ek Gunah Har Baar Q Karta Hu?
Har Sajde Me Use Hi Yaad Q Karta Hu?

Ae Khuda Agar Wo Bana Hi Nahi Mere Liye
To Me Use Itna Pyaar Q Karta Hu?
--------------------------------------

SUNDAR TO JETHALAL KA SALA HAI----sms

WIFE Night Me Pati Se- MERI TARAF FACE KAR K SO JAO NA,
MUZE DARR LAG RAHA HAI...

HUSBAND- AACHA AUR MAI BHALE HE DAR KE MARE MAR JAU
---------------------------------
Kitna bebas h insan kismt k age
HrSapne tut jate h haqiqat k aage
Jisne kbi duniya me hath na failaya ho
Wo b hath failata h GOLGAPPE
wale k aage
------------------------------
Ye joke padhoge to haste.....haste mar jaoge
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

isleye nahi bheja...
I care for u always..!!:)
-------------------------------------
MERI Hasrat k Janaze ko uthane wale
Kitne bedard he ye Log zamane wale
Koi Apna nhi matlab ki he duniya sari
Ab kahan Milte hain wo yar purane wale
---------------------------------
unka wada he ke wo laut ayenge
isi ummeed par ham jiye jayenge
ye intzaar bhi unhi ki tarah pyara hai
kar rahe the, kar rahe hain, aur kiye jayenge
-----------------------------------
rimzim rimzim
' , ' , ' , ' , '
' , ' , ' , ' , , '
, __,____, ,
/____,_/ \ .;';';.
l__[]__l_ l ,,)(,,
Enjoy d 1st rain

HAPY MONSOON
-----------------------------------------
Friend in different languages:
Tamil-nanban
English-friend
Hindi-dosth
German-freuno
French-ami
Dutch-vrend
Mexican-amigo
In my language-'U'
--------------------------------------
Have An icy Morning,
With Buttering Msgs,
Chocolaty Calls, Creamy Thoughts,
Fruity Funs,
With Jumpy Joys,
Have a Sweet Day...

GOOD MORNING.
---------------------------------------
Dilagi abhi na Karo Dard Paoge
Beet Gaya Waqt To yaad Karte hi Rha Jayoge
Karna hi hai to Padhai karo
Xam me Kya Mere SmS likh kar aayoge?
--------------------------------
Wo meri kismat meri takdeer ho Gye

Wo meri kismat meri takdeer ho Gye

Hamne unki yaad me khat itne likhe ki
Ki
Wo RADDI bechkar hi ameer ho Gye
-------------------------------------
Santa 2 wife: Janu Coka-Cola Peene k Baad Kuch Karney
Ko Dil Chah Raha hai?

wife: (Sharmate Hue) Karo Jee...!

Santa: brrrRrrrRrrRrrrRrrrRrr
---------------------------------
Zindgi kaisi b ho jee jayenge
1din hum b is Dunia se chale jayenge
Aaj rehte he apke mobileme msg banke
Kal koi acha Msg mila to Delete ho jaynge
----------------------------------------
Na Tajmahal sundar hai.

Na Kutubminar sundar hai.

Na Aishwarya sundar hai.

To sundar kon he? Bolo..

SUNDAR TO JETHALAL KA SALA HAI.
----------------------------------------
Gadho Ki Race..

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

FIRE..

Msg Baad Me Padh Lena

B. .H. .A. .G. .O. .

Warna Trophy Koi Aur Le Jaayega..
-----------------------------------------
Jailer-Suna h tum kavi ho To kuch sunao yaar,

Qaidi-"Gum-e-Ulfat me jo zindgi kati h Hmari,

JisDin zamanat hui to samjhLo zindgi khatm Tumhari.
----------------------------------------------

WORDS WRITTEN ABOVE A CLASSROOM CLOCK..----SMS

Bv:Apne Shadi se pehle kyu nhi btaya k Apki phle hi RANI naam ki Bv hy
PATI: Maine shadi se pehle btaya to tha k me tumhe RANI ki tarah rakhunga
----------------------------------
Jis chehre ko dekh kar haste the hum, aaj usine "Rula diya" khud ne to phone kiya nai
humne kiya to

.
.
Caller tune,"Tujhe Bhula Diya"???;
------------------------------
Student Aapna Result Dekh Ke..

.

Kya.. Mai Fail Ho Gaya..?

Aur

Wo Bhi English Me..

..

..

.

.

.

UNPOSSIBLE
-----------------------------
A Management Student
Hugs A Girl...
Girl: What's This ?
Boy: Direct Marketing. . .
*Girl Slaps The Boy*
Boy: What's This?
Girl: Customer Feedback
-----------------------------
Santa ka jab antim samay aaya or aakhiri waqt uske beto ne pocha:aap bataye k aapko hum jalaye ya dafnaye?
Santa:mujhse mat pocho surprise dena..
----------------------------------------
WORDS WRITTEN ABOVE A CLASSROOM CLOCK..
*
'This Clock will Never be Stolen,
Bcoz Too Many Students Are Watching it..!
----------------------------------------
Kyu mera dil dukhate ho..
kyu mjhse har baat chupate ho..
mera toh dil hi tut gya ye sunkar ki aap..
..
.
.
.
.
.

VIM BAR se nahate ho.:-|;-)
----------------------------------------
Apni GF ki Shadi Me ja k Ye Ehsas hua

.
.
.
.
.

ki

BIRYANI Achhi ho To Mohbat bi fiki Lgti hai

(',')
<) )->1plate
/ /or de yar

maza aa gya.:D
----------------------------------------

DUNIYA ka sabse bada aur khatrnaak jaadu kahan hota hai?---sms

"Maa"
Maa Kaun Hai?

1 Khubsurat Rishte Ka Naam,
Ye Ma Hi H Jo Apne Bacho Ko Subah Uthati Aur Kehti H Ki
.

Uth Jaao kanjro 11 Baj Rahe Hai
------------------------------------
Ronaldo:Mene agar football ko laat mari to wo 3months gol ghumti rahegi

Rajnikant:
Yanna Raskalla,
Tumko pata he prithvi abtak gol Q ghum rahi
---------------------------------------
Agar kisiko kisise pyaar ho jaye toh kya karna chahiye????

think!!!

dono ki shaadi karwa deni chahiye...
SAALON KA BHOOT UTAR JAAYEGA..
----------------------------------------
"DIL CHEER Ke Dikhau To DARD Dhund Nai Paoge
"Wah Wah"
"Dil Cheer k Dikhaun To Dard Dhund Nahi Paoge,"Qki"
DARD To PAIRO Me H...Kab DABANE Aaoge.
------------------------------------
"Which is better?
Google or Yahoo..?"
.
.
.
....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Oh wait.. I'll search it on
Google.." :P :D
---------------------------------
Student Aapna Result Dekh Ke..

.

-Kya.. Mai Fail Ho Gaya..

Aur

Wo Bhi English Mai

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

UNPOSSIBLE..
------------------------------------
Apni GF ki Shadi Me ja k Ye Ehsas hua

.
.
.
.
.

ki

BIRYANI Achhi ho To Mohbat bi fiki Lgti hai

(',')
<) )->1plate
/ /or de yar

maza aa gya.:D
----------------------------------
Chahat kisiki gulam nhi hoti
Mohbbat kabhi sare-aam nahi hoti
Kaise bhul jae tumhe sms karna
Qki Hmari dosti ki service kabhi jaam nahi hoti
-----------------------------------
Ja Rahe Hum Mrne Aaj Man Udas He.
Yad Nahi Kiya Usne Jiski Muje Aas He.
Muje Bhul Gye Wo Jo Sbse Khas He.

.

Ab Msg Kro
Upr Likha Sb Bakwas H
--------------------------------------
Question:-
DUNIYA ka sabse bada aur khatrnaak jaadu kahan hota hai?
Nahi pata!!!!??
Ans:

Beauty parlor me..!!
---------------------------------------------

Apki Chahat Hi Kamyabi Hai Meri So Apko Kbhi Ruthne Nahi Denge.!!

Arz Kiya Hy

Kya Sunaye Daastan-E-Gum

Wah Wah

Kya Sunaye Daastan-E-Gum

Jabse Aap Mile,
Tab Se PareShan HaiN Hum
----------------------------
GOLU Cigarette chupa kar: Batawo Mere Hath Me kya hai?

MOLU-Rail Gadi

GOLU-Tujhe kaise Pata chala?

MOLU-Maine Dhuwan Niklte DekhA Tha
---------------------------------
GOLU Apne Dost Se:
Tera Bhai AajKal Kya Kar Rha Hai?
MOLU:Ek Dukan Kholi Thi Par ab Jail Me Hai
GOLU:Wo Kyu?

MOLU:Dukan HATHODE Se Kholi Thi
--------------------------------------
Durion ki na parvah kijiye,
Dil jab b pukare bula lijiye,
Hum dur nahi zayada apse
Bas ek bottle

MAZAA

Aur

5 Samose taaza

Mangwa lijiye..
-----------------------------------
When a married man says-

'I'll think about it',

What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..
:-P
------------------------------
Wo Ruth Kr Kehti Hai Hamse,

Tumhara Toh Milna Km Ho Gaya Hai..

Us Pagli Ko Koun Smjhaye,

Ki

PETROL Kitna Mehenga Ho Gya Hai..

Keep Joining me
----------------------------
Kanjus 3yr Child ko Basket me chupa k Film dekhne le gye
Ticket Man: Isme kya h?
Kanjus: Lunch h
Ticket Man: Bach k Saab niche daal gir rhi h
------------------------------
Tu Baar Baar Apni Wafao Ki Kahani Na Sunaya Kar

MERE D0ST

Ek t0 pehle hi itni tension he

Oper se tere Drame khatam nhi hote
----------------------------------
1Angrej Ne India Ka Masaledar Dinner Khaya
Agli Subah Toilet Se NiklteHi-Ab Samjha IndiansQ PaniSe Dhote H

Sala Tissue PaperTo AagPakad Lega
-----------------------------------
Kehte Hai..
Waqt Se Pehle Aur

Kismat K Bina Kisiko Ku6

Nahi Milta..

Affsos.!!

Mere Pas Waqt Nahi,

Aur Ladkiyo K Pass Kismat

Nahi..
---------------------------------
Life Me Chahe Kitne Bhi Dukh Mile,
Gum Mile

Apne Aansu Bah Jane Dena
Unhe Rokna Mat

Kyuki
Ruke Hue Pani Me Maleria Wale Macchar Ande De Dete Hai
------------------------------------
Yaha..
Har Kisi Ki Zindgi Ka,
1 he Maqsad hai..

Doston !
.
.
.
.
Khud Bhale Aawara Ho..
Lekin
'Ladki'
Sharif Chahiye..
.
.
.
Jo kabhi milti Nahi.
---------------------------------
RAJINIKANTH was teaching his grandson how to use a toy gun in Chennai...
.
And lol
.
.
Bin Laden died by mistake in Pakistan...!!;-) :-p
------------------------------------
Devdas ki tarah jaan mat do yaro
Pyar ko lath maro
Meri baat mano,
Na chandramukhi na paro
Roz raat 1 kingfisher maro aur chain se zindagi gujaro.
----------------------------------------
Golden words BY RATAN TATA :
"Tajurba Insan Ko Galat Faisle Se Bachata Hai . . .

Magar . . .

"Tajurba Galat Faisle Se Hi Hasil Hota hai" :-)

..
-----------------------------------
Wo Chal Pade Honge Apne Ghar Se

Mehak Utha Gareeb-khana Is Khabar Se

Aur Kab Tak Intezar Kiya Jaye

Poochh Rahi He Nazre Har Nazar Se.!!
Prem
-----------------------------------
Dekha Jab Se Tujhe Dil Nhi He Bas me
Ji Chahe Tod Du Duniya Ki Sari Rasme
Tera Hath Chahta Hu Sath Chahta Hu
Baho Me Rehna Din Raat Chahta Hu.!!
--------------------------------------
Meri Sanso Se Tum Shikwa Karte Ho
Chup Chup Ke Chahat Ka Sauda Karte Ho
Tum Hi Socho ye Kaisi Majburi He
Mujh Me Rah Kar Mujhse Parda Karte Ho!
---------------------------------------
Tum Door Ho Magar Ye Ehsas Hota Hai
Koi Hai Jo Har Pal Dil K Pas Hota Hai
Yaad To Sabki Aati Hai Magar
Tumhari Yaad Ka Andaz Kuch Khas Hota Hai..
---------------------------------------
Har Geet Ke Piche Saaj Hota Hai
Har Baat Ke Piche Raaj Hota Hai
Badnami Se Mat Darna
Chamkte Chand Me Bhi Daag Hota Hai
---------------------------------------
Ek-Ek Tara Jod Teri Tasvir Banai He
Koi Dekh NaLe Islye Dilme Chupai He
Dilse Tu Mere Nas-2 Me Smayi He
Islye Teri Tasvir Hmne Dilme Basai He
-----------------------------------------
Ye Wada Hai Tumse Humara

Tutega Na Ye Rishta Humara
Agar

Sanso ki Dor Tut Gayi
To Lenge Janam Dubara

Dene Ko Sirf Sath Tumhara!
Love u Jaan
-----------------------------------------
Sach Kehte He

Pyar & Zahar Me Koi Fark Nhi Hota

Zahar Pine Ke Baad Log Mar Jate Hai
Or Pyaar Karne Ke Baad Log Jee Nhi Pate.!!
=*=
--------------------------------------
Aapki Yaad To Ek Anmol Phool Hai
Hum ApKo Bhul Jaye Ye Apki Bhool Hai

Koi Yaad Aapko Kre Ya Nhi,
Hum Apno Ko Nhi Bhulte ye Humara Asool Hai!!
-----------------------------------
Us Sans Se Jab Mulaqat Ho Teri
Bata Dena Usko Halat Meri

Usko Ho na Ho Jarurat Meri
Par Meri Har Sans Ko Jarurat He Teri.!!
Miss u Jaan..
----------------------------------
Wo Ankhon Se Shararat Krte Hai
Apni Adaon Se Qayamat Krte Hai

Nigahe Unke Chehre Se Hatti Nhi
Fir Bhi Humari Nazron Se Shikayat Krte Hai..
---------------------------------------
Ek Baat Muje Bhi Bata Do
Raasta Wo Muze Bhi Dikha Do
Apni Saari YaadoSe Chhutkara Dila Do
Tum Bhoole Ho Jaise Muze
Wo Tarika Muje Bhi Sikha Do.
---------------------------------------
Jaan Se Pyare Ho Tum
Mere Hasrto Ki Manzil Ho Tum

Mere Dil Ki Har Khusi Ho Tum
Barso Tarsa Hu Jis Pyar Ko Me
Us Pyar Ka Armaan Ho Tum!
--------------------------------------
Bhool Jaye Tumko Koi Irada Nhi He
Tere Siwa Kisi Or Se Wada Nhi He

Nikaal Dete Dil Se Shayad Tumko
Magar Is Nadaan DIL Me Darwaza Nhi He!
---------------------------------
Palke Jo Jhuke To Salam Ho Jaye
Sar Jo Jhuke To Adab Ho Jaye
Hum Aisi Nazar Kaha Se Laye
Jo Aapko Pata B Na Chale Aur Aapka DeeDar Ho Jaye
--------------------------------------
Khushoo Ki Tarah Meri Har Saans Me Pyar Apna Basane Ka Wada Karo

Meri Tasalli Ki Khatir Hi Sahi
AeJAAN
Zara Mujko Apna Banane Ka Wada Kro.!!
----------------------------------
Yaadon Ke Bhanwar Me Ek Pal Humara Ho
Khilte Chaman Me Ek Gul Humara Ho..

Aur Jab Yaad Kare Aap Apno Ko
Toh Uss Yaad Me Ek Naam Humara Ho..!!
----------------------------------
Humsafar Toh Saath-Saath Chalte Hai
Raaste Toh Bewafa Badalte Hai

Unka Chehra Hai Jab Se Mere Dil Me
Jaane Kyon Log Mujh se Jalte Hai.!!
----------------------------------------
Apne Armano Ko Jhukne Nhi Denge
Dil Ki Hasrat Ko Tutne Nahi Denge

Apki Chahat Hi Kamyabi Hai Meri
So Apko Kbhi Ruthne Nahi Denge.!!
----------------------------------
Usko Dil Ki Har Baat Sunana Chahu
Chhod Pau Use Na Apna Banana Chahu

Mujhe Yaad He Kuch Woh Hasi Lamhe
Bhul K B Jinko Na Me Bhulana Chahu..
-----------------------------------------