Now Playing: Alan Wake impressions

Alan Wake is finally out. Hold your horses folks, it's only for Xboxers unfortunately.

I know, totally lame. But them devs don't trust us PC folk cause of pirating galore on our beloved beige boxed machines. Never mind. The next best thing for you guys is to listen to my thoughts on the game when I had a look at the first two episodes on a mate's Xbox.

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I'm a big fan of Remedy Entertainment. Big fan of Max Payne. Especially the second 'un which I remembered playing over and over in my youth (yes, I'm that old). So I had big hopes for Alan Wake. I wanted it to spook the living daylights outta' me, and at the same time, compel me to keep playing.

Alan Wake opens with this quote, "Stephen King once wrote that nightmares exist outside logic, and there's little fun to be had in explanations..."

Okay. My spidey senses are tingling. I have a feeling Remedy's got that quote in there to encourage players to suspend their disbelief. The game's telling our subconscious, "If Stephen King said that, then it must be right. So if weird stuff happens in the game that we don't explain, don't hate us." We'll see about that.


This is the story. Alan and his wife head up to the seemingly idyllic (they always are) town of Bright Falls for a little getaway. Until good ol' Alan takes a NAP, of all things and weird shit happens. Alan then wakes up in a car accident with his wife missing. Thus begins the tale of Silent Hill - oh crap, I mean - Alan Wake.

Alan Wake himself is a mess of a character. Remedy tried to make him out as this average joe we could identify with. But he broods too much, has some mental disorder and can't even be nice to his wife who's alright, save for her annoying phobia of being unable to turn on light switches on her own (she gets Alan to do that for her every time).

Alan as a game hero doesn't work either. He runs strangely, like he starts out in a rugby tackle, always ducking down before breaking into sprint. Also can't run far without wheezing like he had too many shakes and super-sized fries. And hurts himself falling from small heights. I mean, he ain't no Nathan Drake but make him a little more fit at least! Seems to be a great shot though, despite admitting he's never fired a weapon before. Odd.

Gameplay? Basically it's a third-person over-the-shoulder Resident Evil/Dead Space-style action horror. The distinction that it's action before horror is an important one to make that I'll expand on later. For now, just know it's basically you running about in the dead of night, in a woods infested by hicks with axes out to get you. To me, that's the most interesting feature. Why are the enemies all lumberjacks/car mechanics?


Perhaps some subconscious commentary on class division? I could be bull-crapping but whatever it is, there's a very strong whiff of Resident Evil 4/5. Townsfolk as expendable enemies was their thing too. Why can't there be really freakish monsters of the night? I mean ghouls would be more frightening than your friendly neighborhood convenience-store owner.

The torchlight/gun-play is decent. Shine a light on the enemy enough times till their "armor" breaks and then you can shoot them dead. This becomes more challenging, the more enemies are thrown at you. Only problem is, there doesn't seem to be anything interesting about the combat beyond that. Dodge, shine a light, shoot, reload batteries, reload ammo, shine a light, shoot, dodge. I verified this with a few other reviews, apparently it REALLY doesn't get any more exciting than this...

In the game's defense, the light-is-good mechanic works. It certainly makes you feel relieved at whatever source of light you find, a safe haven from the darkness. Enemies can't enter light and they act as checkpoints/medical stations. It's never explained but Alan Wake is like Superman getting his energy from the light.

Whether it's hard or not depends on the player. On normal difficulty, the game is so generous with ammo drops it never feels like the pressure is on. The enemies can dodge, throw weapons at your head, and run at you. But they really are just zombies so if you're coordinated enough, they can be taken out easily.


Puzzles are dumb. Just variations on the "lock-door" conundrum. Find a locked door, back-track, pick up key/flip switch and then presto! To the game's credit, this keeps the action flowing but it feels more like you're leaving your brain in the backseat and going along for a ride. More puzzles, less action please.

Also, you pick up pages from a seemingly magical manuscript that Alan can't remember writing, but apparently has, and it spells out the shit that's about to happen to him. It sounds like an exciting plot twist but really Remedy's killing the suspense if you're able to read what's going to happen to you.

(I'm calling upon two of my favorite game writers for help writing this preview. They tweeted about Alan Wake recently. And I feel their tweets best express what I wanted to say)

Richard Cobbett: "I put down the magic manuscript warning me my friend would be attacked. I didn't call him. I'm a writer. I hate spoilers."

Then, at times, Alan Wake liked to tell us what we already just experienced. Thanks, Mr. Obvious.

Yahtzee Croshaw: Alan Wake's narration feels a bit unnecessary at times. You see a hairy dog. "SUDDENLY I SAW A HAIRY DOG".


Remedy nailed noir with Max Payne. But in Alan Wake, the hardboiled narration from the writer feels contrite. Max Payne had the license to be noir thanks to the dark plot; his family was murdered in cold-blood. Alan Wake opens with a nightmare and expects us to accept the dark atmosphere wholeheartedly.

Anyway, graphic's is Alan Wake's redeeming quality. Light is definitely the strongest element of the engine as it should be, whether its the sun setting, the spotlights of street lamps in the distance, or the way shadows dance in the headlights of a cop car. Environments look real and ominous, the fog really adding to the atmosphere. The opening sequence where you run on a bridge with cars and barrels falling from the sky is impressive. But the character animations could be improved on. It's decent but at times, they all have a bad case of lips-not-in-sync-with-dialogue.

Presentation is overall fresh because it's built to look like a TV show. Episodes end with a nice track and a cliffhanger to keep you playing, and next episodes begin with the obligatory "Previously on Alan Wake". It isn't enough to make the game as a whole exciting though because it still comes down to whether the story is compelling enough.

Remedy sure is following Stephen King's quote to the T. They throw in all sorts of absurdities, never explaining why the townsfolk are going nuts, why his novel is coming alive, or why it's happening to Mr. Wake in particular. But whatever I saw in the first two episodes was interesting enough for me to want more. I hope they explain all this in the remaining 4 episodes (oddly seems more like a HBO mini-series than a 25-episode mainstream).


Here's the biggest problem with the game I see. It's not scary enough. It's got all sorts of funny spooky stuff, but it's not actually pee-in-your-pants freakdom. Alan Wake didn't take into account what makes a good horror game. Clunky controls like the original Resident Evil trilogy, psychological horror like FEAR and jumping-out-monster bits like Dead Space. And can't forget, survival. Give us less ammo, more running away. For a game that wants to rip-off other horror greats, it's more like an action game, as I mentioned earlier than a horror one. Let's call it a thriller then. More Dean Koontz than Stephen King, since we're on the topic of horror writers.

Richard Cobbett: "Slowly, surely, I realized the truth. These zombies were pathetic. I was in no danger. My horror novel is ruined." Alan Wake, Departure.

Employing a writer as a main character seemed like such an edgy move, Remedy thought. But they failed to realize that's not all that makes a great character. Alan Wake isn't charismatic, wears a tweed jacket with elbow patches, and for a successful author, his writing kinda' sucks. His manuscript looked like it could've been written by a grade-schooler.

For a game that took a heck of a long time to develop, it's nothing impressive. The presentation is top-notch sure, but the game play leaves me wanting. Perhaps in another life, it would've been a mediocre TV series or a straight-to-DVD release with cult favor. But when it comes out on the PC, think twice before jumping into this nightmare (wordplay!).