Mere Ruthne Pr Mere Dost Ke Sath Bhag Gyi Kutti, Kamini, Haramzadi

Teachar to GOLU-15 August ko kya hua tha?
GOLU:Mai paida hua tha
mere sath india bi azad hua Mai fir se gulaam ban gaya hu
Q K meri SHADI Ho gai

----------------------------
1 Car ki nilami ho rhi thi 1lakh,2la,3la
GOLU shocked-Is khatare me aisa kya h
Seler-Iske 10 acidnts hue h & hr bar sirf Bv mari h
GOLU:6 Lakh
---------------------------------
Bv: Maine suna hai k Jannat me Mardon ko Hooren milegi
To aurton ko kya milega
.
.
.
.
.
PATI: Kuch nahi,Khuda sirf mazloom ki sunta hai
----------------------------
Demotion of Sal'manKhan

2009-Wanted=IPS
2010-Dabang=Inspctor
2011=BodyGuard

UpcomingFilms-
2012=SecurityGuard
2013=WatchMan
2014=Postman
-------------------------------
Aaj b nikalti hai wo kisi aur ke sath
Zulfe lehra k mast adao k sath
use kya pata wo ho jayegi jal k khak

Jab hum niklenge biwi bachon k sath
===================================
GOLU ko 1000 ka note mila, Jispe lika tha, HAPPY NEW YEAR
Usne apni jeb se 1000 ka note nikala us pe SAME TO YOU likha
aur wahi rakh ke chala Gya
----------------------------
TEACHER ka darja MAA se bhi ucha Q hota hai?
Answer
maa LORI se 1 bacche ko sulati hai
bt
teacher LECTURE se puri class ko sulati Deti Hai
-----------------------------------
Postman to Santa-Mai Aapka Packet Dene Ke Liye 5 Mile Se Aaya Hu
Santa-Itne Door Se Kyu Aaya be Bewkuf Post Hi Kar Dete
---------------------------------------
NOW DIS IS WAT A PJ IS

Girl- Kabi kabi mai yeh 'sochti' hu-
Agar main "BORING" hu...
Toh
.
.
.
.

Mere muh se pani Q nahi aata..
-------------------------------
Pati-Na Kajre Ki Dhar
Na Motiyo Ke Haar
Na Koi Kiya Singar
Fir B Kitni Sundar Ho..

Patni-Kaminey Saaf Bol Na
MAKE-UP
K Liye Paise Nahi Dunga
--------------------------
Duniya ka sbse bada atankwadi hamla

Kisika mobile lo.Phone book me jake "delete all" kr do
Fir mobile wale ka chehra dkho Or thoda sa muskura do
-----------------------
Shcool ke Dino me Pyar Hua,

Propose Kiya Letter Dekar
Jawab Aaya Kitaab me Chupkar
Kbi mulakat hui hi Nhi
Qki Kitab Kbi hmne chui hi nhi
----------------------------
1 machar tufan me tha
Raste me 1 bada ped mila
Usse lipat gya
Tufan chala gya to machr pasina poch k bola-
Agr aj mai nai hota to ye ped gir jata
------------------------------
TAJJUB Hai-
Aap jaise smart log bhi
road ke kinare katori
lekar khade hote hai,
AKHIR KYUN
Sirf do char,
Panipuri k liye
-------------------------------
Girlfriend-promise karo mujhe kabhi touch, kiss, I LOVE YOU ke liye force nahi karoge.
Boy-Behan tu ghar ja, Tere mummy papa chinta kar rahe hoge
------------------------------------
Arz Karta Hu..
Itne khuddar the hum ke kbhi school na jate the

DOSTO

Wo to ladkiyo ke shauk-e-deedar ne
graduation karwa diya
----------------------------------
GOLU: Lijiye Na Aur RASGULLE
Mehman: Nahi Shukria Mai Pehle Hi 4 Le Chuka Hu

GOLU: Waise Liye To Apne 7 Hy
Lekin Khair Yaha Gin Kon Raha Hai
--------------------------------------
India K Nojwan Nasal K Bigrne Ki Waja?

Media?? Internet??

Nahi

1st Year Ki Urdu Ki Ghazlen
Ache Se Ache Bache
Ko Aashiq Bana Deti Hen
---------------------------------------
Ques: do din tak lagatar barsat kyu nahi ho sakti ?

Ans: Qki bich me raat bhi hoti hai

Bachpan se intelligent hu par kbhi ghamand nhi kiya
---------------------------------------
Kisine mujse apki Umar puchi
maine kaha-
Chehre se 16 Yrs
Kapdo se 19yrs
hansi se 7yrs
Ankho se 8 yrs.
Kul mila kar 50 SAAL kam to nahi btayi n
---------------------------------------
Agar Koi Ladki Ghar mein bhi Make up kr k Ghumay tu Samj jao k
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Uske pass Webcam Hai
--------------------------------
GF-Agr main tumse juda ho jao'n tou tmhe'N kc taklif hogi?
BF:wesi taklef hogi jc naak ka choha naak mei sookh jaye usko nikalta waqt hoti hy
------------------------------------
Husband TV K Samne Baitha Ro Raha Tha
Wife:Tum Kaunsa Serial Dekh Rahe Ho Jo Itna Ro Rahe Ho
Husband:Ye Serial Nhi H Humari Shadi Ki DVD Hai
---------------------------------------------
4 Rishte Be-naqaab Ho
Jaty Hyn

1- Burhapey Mein Aulaad

2- Museebat Mein Dost

3- Ghurbat Mein Biwi

Aur

4- Sales Na Hoon Tou
Manager .
------------------------------
Young Generation Ko Sbse Zyada Tention Kb Hoti Hy?

Tab Hoti Hy Jb Wo So Kr Uthen Or Unka Mobil Ami K Pas Ho!

(.")/ Mama Hum
-------------------------------
>Ladki Ek Item Hoti Hain

>Bole To

>I:Intaligante
>T:Talentade
>E:Ek
>M:Mushibat

Ha Ha Ha Ha
------------------------------
Girl1:Mujhe mere lover k sath bike me jate mere papa ne dekh liya
Girl2:Acha fir kya hua?

Girl1:Fir kya unhone bus k paise wapas mang liye!
-------------------------------------------
MOLU to GOLU-Yaar suna he 2012 tk duniya khatm ho jygi
GOLU:Aisa nahi hoga maine kal washing machine khridi hy us p 2014 tk ki guarnty hai
-----------------------------------
1 baat hamesha yaad
rakhna..
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

TRAIN Kabhi Panchar Nhi Hoti
--------------------------------------------
Patni Pati Ko Samjhate Huye-Tum Mujhse Vaada Karo Ki Tum Kabhi Juwa Nai Kheloge
Pati -Par Tumse Shaadi Kar Ke Bhi To Mai Ek Juwa Hi Khel Raha Hu
---------------------------------------
GOLU Ki Girlfriend GOLU se:Kya Shaadi Ke Baad Bhi Tum Mujhe Itna Pyar Karoge

GOLU:Kyo Nahi Lekin Tumhare Husband Se Pooch Lena My Swt Heart..
---------------------------------
Santa: Tumne Ek Upanyas Likha Hai Na?
Kuchh Bika?
Banta: Bika Na, Anguthi, Scooter, Aur Biwi Ki Churiyaan!
----------------------------------
Jab Wo Girlfriend Thi
Mai Bolta Tha Wo Sunti Thi
Mangetar Bani, Wo Bolti, Mai Sunta Tha
Jabse Biwi Bani, Hum Dono Bolte Hai,
Mohalla Sunta Hai
-------------------
Police : Madam darwaja kholo aap ke pati truck ke neeche aa kar Paapad ban Gye hai

Lady : To darwaja kholne ki kya jarurat h
Niche se sarkaa do
-----------------------------------
Aaj ka vichar
"Duniya ka sabse achchha beta, har maa k paas hota he
lekin duniya ki sabse achchhi biwi,
har padosi k paas hoti he..... its true
----------------------------------
Santa-Aasaan ko english me kya kehte hain.?

Banta-Pata Nahi yaar itne EASY word k meaning yAAd nahi aa raha
---------------------------------
SACHIBAAT:
Kisi ki Shakal itni buri nhi hoti jitni us k voter-card 'me hoti hai

Or itni sunder b nhi hoti jitni Facebook ki profile 'me hoti hai
----------------------------------
Sir:Tere papa kal kyu daawat diye the?
Boy: Sir, Aap aaye the?
Sir: Haan
Boy: Apko nai malum?
Sir: Nhi
Boy: Sir,wo 11fakiro ki dawat thi
----------------------------------
Sukhi vaivahik jeevan ka raz
.
.
.

Khud ko Sher samzo
.
.
.
.aur
.
Biwi ko
.

?

R I N G
M A S T E R
-----------------------------------
Khub jamega rang jab mill baithenge 3 yaar

Aap

Mai

Or

.
Thappad padega

Agar BAGPIPER ka khayal b aya.

ONLY SPRITE
SIDHI BAAT No bakwas
----------------------------------------------
INVITATION 2 all my Frnz
4 the ''FRNDSHIP DAY" Party
On 7 Aug
6pm onwrds
Unique Hall
68th Floor
Twin Towers
London

Koi Bahana Nai Chalega
AANA H
-----------------------------------
BV apne shrabi pati ko sudharne k liye kale kapde pahen kr ghar k bahr khadi hui
Pati:Tum Kon
BV:Chudail
Pati:Haath mila
Mai teri behen ka pati
------------------------------------
GOLU ne Book Pe I Love U Likh Ke teachar ko Di..
Teachar-Ye Kya Hai
GOLU-Mam,Apne hi to Kaha Tha Jo Dil Me Aaye Wo Likh Do..to Likh Diya
-------------------------------
Pehle Amitabh Bacchan Kehte
The
Rishte Me To Hum Tumhare Baap Lagte H

Or Ab Kehte H
"Buddha Hoga Tera Baap"
.
Apne Hi Jaal Me Fas Gaya
BUDDHA..
------------------------------------
Doctor-Kya Pareshani Hai...?
Marij-Doctor Sahab Mujhe behad Emotional Sadma Paucha Hai,Mujhe Abhi Pata chala hai Ki Mere Sas Sasur Kangal Hai
-----------------------------------
Patni-Aji Ye Jo Ap Jeans baar Baar Upar Khichte Ho..Bahut bura lagta hai
Pati-Mera Khayal hai Agar Mai Jeans Upar Na Khichu To Or Bhi Bura Lagega
------------------------------------
Ae maut tu kbhi aaye to muje or sirf muje batana, Mere dosto ko nhi
Bcz

.
.

Saale sab kamine he,Pata chala to uski bhi party mangege
---------------------------------
Teachar-Tumhare Papa Kya Kaam Krte Hai
GOLU-Garmi me ICS sardiyo Me PCS
Teachar-Kya
GOLU-Ice cream Selar in summar or Pakoda Chat Selar in wintar
-----------------------------------
Style Of Break Up-
BF Ne GF Ko Rocket Gift Kiya
GF-What The Hell Is This?
BoyFriend-Tujhe Chand Taare Chahiye The Na, Is Par Baith Aur Nikal
---------------------------------------
Question of the Day..?
Ladkiyo Ko Kabhi
Heart Attack Kyu Nahi Aata..?

.
Kyun ki
.

.

.
Unke Pass Dil Hi Nahi Hota...!
----------------------------------------
Boyfriend-Mai tumhare liye Duniya ke Aakhiri Kinare Tak Ja Sakta Hu
Girlfriend-Acha...Lekin Ye Vaada Kro Ki Waha Se Kabhi Laut Kar Nahi Aaoge
--------------------------------------
Teachar-Microsoft ke Product Ke naam batao..
MONU-Ms Word
SONU-Ms Power point
MOLU-Ms Excel

GOLU kafi der sochne ke baad bola
Ms Dhoni.....
---------------------------------------
GOLU-: Aaj maine machar ko confused kar diya
MOLU-:wo kaise.Bhai..?
GOLU-: Maine machardani bed par laga di aur mai bed ke neeche so gaya.!
--------------------------------------
Meri har khata ko maaf kar dena ye soch kar doston....
.
.
.
.
.
ke
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
tum kaun se shareef ho...
------------------------------------
Dava & Daru Me Kya Diffrance Hy

Dava Girl Friend Hy
"JISME EXPIRY DATE HOTI HAI "
Or
Daru Wife Hy
JITNI
PURANI HOGI
UTNA SIR CHADKE BOLEGI
-----------------------------
GOLU-Apne Mujhe bday Pe jo cycle Gift ki thi Wo kaha Gaya
Baap-Wo to maine bech di
GOLU-Kyu bechi Papa..?
BAAP-Tere bday ka bill jo bharna tha
---------------------------------
Wo mujhse milne bhi aai to apne
mehboob ke sath

AB Tum Hi Batao Ke Ye Seedha Seedha.

aeDOSTO

Ye

.

.
"harami pan"

Hai Ki Nahi ?
--------------------------
2 lovers in DOMINOS..

Boy: kya khaogi jaan?
.
Girl: samose mangwa lo...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Moral: Aur phasao dehati maal...!!
-------------------------------------------
Ajeeb C Halat He Tre Jane K Bad

Bhuk Ni Lgti Khana Khane K Bad

Mere Pas 8 Samosy The Jo Mene Kha Liye

1 Tere Ane Se Phle 7 Tere jane k baad
--------------------------------------
GF-Mai kisi aur se shadi kar rahi hu
Tum muje bhul jao.

Boyfriend-Na tere aane ki khushi
Na tere jane ka gam
Ja bahen ja
Dusri pata lenge hum
-----------------------------------
Dangerous Shayari:
Nazro Se Utar Kr,Dil Me Bas Gayi Mere Sapno Ki Shehzadi

Mere Ruthne Pr Mere Dost Ke Sath Bhag Gyi
Kutti, Kamini, Haramzadi
------------------------------------