Ishq mein barbadi na karwa lena, Apni mummy ke armaan khak mein na mila dena

Wife : Why have you increased the speed of the car ?
Husband : Break has failed, we should reach home before accident




1st Child : Mere papa bahut darpok hai
2nd Child : Kyun ?
1st Child : Jab bhi road cross karte hai,
meri ungli pakad lete hai aur
kehte hai chodna mat




Husband : kya tumne mujse kutta kaha ??
Wife : no
Husband : again asks
Wife : no
Husband : again then again he asks
Wife : nahi kaha, please ab bhokna bandh kar




Na moh na maya hai,
Alash tumhi ko aaya hai,
Beith kar char akshar padh lo beta,
Final papar girlfriend ne nai banaya hai




Aap aap ho, hum hum hai
Na aap kam ho, na hum kam hai
To kis baat ka gam hai
SMS bhejte raho to lagega ki
Mobile rakhne wale me dum hai




JAB PYAR MEIN DHOKA MILTA HAI,
ZINDAGI MEIN UDASI CHAHA JAATI HAI,
SOCHTE HAI CHOD DENGE IS DUNIYA KO,
KAMBAKHAT TABHI DUSRI PASAND AA JAATI HAI



Chahe gussa karo
Chahe galiyaan nikalo
Chahe sar pito
Chahe cell todho
Chahe ghar ka samaan bikher do
Hum to isi time good morning kahenge




Pandit chupke se narak se swarg mein ghus gaya,
Farishton ne pakad ke khoob maara,
Maar khakar wo utha kapde jhade aur bola,
Tumari inhi harkato se koi swarg mein nahi aata




Ishq mein barbadi na karwa lena,
Apni mummy ke armaan khak mein na mila dena,
Jo paise ghar se sabji lene ko diye hai,
Unse recharge na karwa lena




Jyotish ek ladke ka haath dekh kar bola
JYOTISH : Beta tum bahut padhoge....
LADKA : Padh toh mein 3 saal se raha hu,
ye bata pass kab hounga.... ?




Aaj mausam mein kuch azeeb baat hai,
Bekabu se humare jazbat hai,
Dil chahta hai ki aapko chura le aap se,
Par mummy kehti hai ki chori karna bhuri baat hai




Whats karan johar upto......... ?
K3G : love your parents
KHNH : love your neighbour
KANK : love others wife & now
DOSTANA : love the same gender........ have fun




Ab tak meri life ek khuli bottle thi,
Jisme perfume ki tarah sab udd jata tha,
Par aap ke aane se sab rukh gaya,
BHAGWAN aap jaisa DHAKKAN dost sabko de




Gadha jo khaye wo Ghas ho tum,
Buddhe ka Chyawanprash ho tum,
Idiot stupid bakwas ho tum,
Par jo bhi ho yar,
Dost Jhakaas ho tum...




Thandi thandi hawa chali,
Mausam hua suhana

wah.. wah....

Thandi thandi hawa chali,
Mausam hua suhana

wah.. wah....

BANDAR bhi message padh raha hai
EDUCATED hua zamana




Beta: Papa aapki shaadi ho gayi ?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui ?
Papa: Bewkuff teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar me hi setting kar li.




Santa call wife :- Ghar nahi aa sakta,
car ka stearing, gear sab chori ho gaya

5 minutes baad

Ghar aa raha hu
Pehle galti se peeche baith gaya tha




Hum gaye the unke ghar
Kehna tha dil se dil mila lo
Unki maa ne khola darwaaza
Hum ghabra ke bole aunty
Bachon ko polio ki dawa pilwa lo




Meharbaan kadardaan dekhiye mere sms ka kamaal
Ganti bazi, jhamure ne phone uthaya
Jhamure ne sms padha ab,
jhamura muskurayega or sochega ki ye kise karu




Agar
koi
galti
khata
gustakhI
mistake
baadtamiji
etc.
etc.

ho
toh
plz

Mafi mang lo
Abhi mein bahut ache mood mein hu




Chuha aaya honda chala ke
Chuhi bethi jean pa ke
Chuhe ne chalaya gear pa ke
Chuhi digi nali che jaa ke
Chuha utar aaya googls laa ke
Chuhi ne chua kutya lamma pa ke




SANTA :- Yeh scooty kab lee
BANTA :- Kal raat ek ladki mujhe
scooty par bahut dur lee gayi
aur sab kapde uttar kar boli
jo chahiye lee lo toh mein scooty le aaya
kapde da mein ki karna




DAD :- Beta, sasuralwale car de toh plan mang lena
scooter de to car aur dukaam de toh makaan mang lena
BETA :- Agar ladki de toh uski MAA mang lu




Ganjo ki race mein ek ganje ne maari baazi
Magar inaam lene ko woh nahi hua raazi
Ganje ne gusse mein kaha yeh bhi koi khel hai
Jisne GANJO ka inaam kanga aur tel hai




Arz kitta hai................

Mathe te lahu, Shir te ret.....
wah.. wahh..........

GAUR KARNA

Mathe te lahu. shir te ret............
kyun ki
Sajna ne phool marya GAMLE SAMET




Jab tume uppar wale ne banaya hoga
Ushe bahut maza aaya hoga
Surat di bholi bhali, hansi di bacho wali, meejaz diya cool
Aur dimag gaya bhool




Mere har message par TAALI jarur ba*ana
Brahmaha ji ne mujhe vardan diya hai
Jo TAALI nahi bajahega woh agle janam mein
Ghar-ghar jaa kar TAALI bajahega
SOCH LO TUM




Titanic Ke Saath Santa Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hass Bhi Raha Tha
Banta :- Oye Kyun Hass Raha Hai?
Santa :- Shukar hai maine return ticket nahi khaRida.




Subha utho close up karo
Phir nahake naasta karo
Pjir meri photo ke samne dono haath
Jodh kar zor zor se gaooooooooo

Tujhe bhool jaana jaana mumkin nahi
Tu yaad na aaye aisa koi din nahi




Baniya donate blood to jatt
Jatt gifts a car
Baniya donates again
This time jatt gives 1Kg rice
Baniya :- Bas........ ?
Jatt :- Hun ta mere che vi baniya ta khoon hai




Ek bus driver ke seat ke peeche likha tha
Agar WAHEGURU ne chaha toh manzil tak pahuncha dunga
Agar chooki nazar toh maa kasam
WAHEGURU se hi mila dunga




In a maths exam
santa was dancinge instead of writting why ?
Think ?
Because someone told him that there is marks for every STEP.....




Aap mein aur coldrink mein kya similarity hai ?
Both are cool, sweet
Sab pasand karte hai
Aur most important similarty
Dimag wali jagah DHAKKAN hai




Bhaiya hum cloromint kyun khate hai
Kyun ki
Kyun ki
5 STAR, CADBURY, PERK, DAIRY MILK, KIT-KAT, or MUNCH..........
50 paise mein nahi aate hai
Ab dubara mat poochna




Five reasons why we are friends
1........................
2.......................
3.......................
4.......................
5.......................

ThaPpad maaru kyaaaaaaaaa ?
Our friendship is unconditional ok
Reason dhund rahe ho, sharam nahi aati




Sweetest purposal 1 boy & 1 girl of L.K.G. class
BOY :- Ka tu mujhse shaadi kalegi ?
GIRL :- Nahi
BOY :- Kalle na
GIRL :- Nahi main nahi kalungi
BOY :- Please kalle teko tophi dunga




Aaj ka sawal........
Mohabbat ho jaati hai yah karni padti hai ?
Very simple
Ladki khoobsurat ho toh mohabbat ho jaati hai
Aur agar ameer ho toh karni padti hai




Santa pedh pe chada toh upar baithe
Bandar ne poocha upar kyun aaya ??
SANTA :- Apple khane aaya hu !!
BANDAR :- Lekin yeh toh aam ka pedh hai..
SANTA :- Pata hai bhootnike apple saath laya hu




Muskurana toh har ladki ki ada hai
wah... wah... wah... wah...
Muskurana toh har ladki ki ada hai

Jo ushe pyar samjhe
Woh sabse bada GADHA hai




Maine aaj aapko phone kiya toh network bola
Murkhon ki duniya mein aapka suwagat hai
Aap jis BEVKOOF se sampark karna chahte hai
Uska DIMAAG abhi coverage area se bahar hai





2 sardar chess khel rahe the
First :- Ab bas hua, Khel band karte hai
Second :- Thik hai, Waise bhi tera ghoda
aur mera haathi hi bacha hai




Santa was reading a blank paper................
BANTA :- Yeh kya hai ?
SANTA :- Meri girlfriend ka love letter hai..!!
BANTA :- Magar yeh toh khali hai...
SANTA :- Aaj kal hum baat nahi karte




Gadho ki RACE........................
10
09
08
07
06
05
04
03
02
01
FIRE........ message baad me padh lena

BHAAGO
Warna TROPHY koi aur le jayega




Bhoot ka beta apne baap se bola
Dekha papa main kitna darwna hu
Uska baap bola beta jaada ghamand nahi karte
Abhi tune message padhne wale ko nahi dekha




Yeh kis tarah yaad aa rahe ho
Ankhen band hai phir bhi nazar aa rahe ho
Na jaane kyun aisa lagta hai
Jaise samne kade ho
Aur sing hilake ORBIT WHITE chaba rahe ho




Pandit ji ne aapke moblie ki rashi
Dekh kar bataya hai ki
Aapke cell par kanjusi ki mahadasha chal rahi hai
SMS bhej kar grahe shant kare
Nahi toh aapka set chori ho jayega




Samundar ke kinare baithe hai
Kabhi toh lehar aayegi
Kismat badle na badle
Atleast CHAPPAL toh dhul jayegi
*$*$* THINK POSITIVE *$*$* yaar





Pimple pimple little star
Tum ho kanjus mere yaar
Jo na kare mujhe SMS char
Uske mooh pe ho jaye pimple char




Ek Ameer Ladki ko school me garib parivar pe essay
Likhne ko kaha gaya 0r essay me usne likha
Ek garib parivar tha pita garib, maa garib, bache garib
Parivar me 4 naukar the, wo bhi gareeb car bhi tutti hui safari thi
unka garib driver bachon ko tutti car me school chood ke aata tha
Bachon ke paas purana n95 mobile tha, bache hafte me 3 bar hi chicken khate the
Ghar me 4 hi 2nd hand a.c. the or sahara parivar badi mushkil se aish kar raha tha!




Patient to Doctor- Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi he
uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya
Dr.- Janta hu,thapad ki aawaz
Jo yaha tak aa rahi thi ..

===================
,-|'"""""""""'''|
/--[KING FISHER]
'''O'""""""O"O'""

Truck Bhar K BEER Bheji Hai

2 Bottle Nikal Ke Truck Kisi Dusre Bewde Ke Pass Bhej Dena
===============
Hum Kal Raat Aasmaan Me Aapke Liye Sitare Lene Gaye The

Par

Khali Hath Wapas Aa Gaye

Jante Ho Kyu

Kyu K

'BAG' To Ghar Par Hi Bhul Gaye The
==================
Tu Baar Baar Aapni Wafao Ki Kahani Na Sunaya Kar

Mere D0ST

Ek To Pehle Hi Itni Tension Me Hu

Upar Se Tere Drame Khatam Nahi Hote
===============
Agar Mumtaz Zinda Hoti Aaj

To Shahjahan Ko Kabhi Na Banaane Deti 'TAJ'

Kehti

Itni Zameen Waste Na Karo

Yaha Ugaa Lo

'PYAAZ'
================
Chaai (Tea) ki Patti
&
PATI (Husband) mein
kya similarity hai??
.
.
.
.
.
Dono ki kismat me Ubalnaa likha hai,
& woh bhi aurat ke haatho..
===================
Why we sometimes write "etc." at d end in examz
Bcoz it means

e-end of,
t-thinking,
c-capacity.
teachrs cnt undstnd r feelings.
====================
Today I may lose something!
Tomorrow I can get anything!
But I can never lose & Ever get one thing & That is "U"!
So be my friend forever.!
===============
Roz Dikhne Wale Dil Se Dur Hote Hai
Dur Rehne Wale Dil Ke Karib Hote Hai
Dil Ki Baat Bata Du Aapko?


Apse Roz Milne Wale Khushnasib Hote he
===================
PyaR KaRna HuMko SikHa Do
Us DiL k kOne Me Humko bHi BitHa Do
Hum TumHaRi YaDon Me Hai ki naHi
HotHo Se nahi to Kam Se Kam SMS Se tO Bata Do
===================
Kamybi Bdi Nhi
Pane Wle Bde Hote H
Drar Badi Nhi
Bhrne wle Bade HoteHe
Itihas K Pane Pe Likha He Ki Dosti Badi Nahi
Nibhane Wle Bde Hote He
==============
HI
@.@
_/( ' )\_
_/"""\_
Phchano IsY
Tumhara Pta Puch Rha Tha Khta H Me Uska Bachpan ka Dost Hu Talaab Me Khub QMaze kiYe He Hamne.
=====================
Hum apni Dosti ka itihas likhenge,
dil ki kitab me apna arman likhenge,
kash hame mil jae asman ki Hukumt,
taro Ki Jgah APKA Nam likhenge.
===============
Which line is used very often when we are with FRIEND ....?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


.

.

.

.


.


.


.
OYE KAI NA BOLTA GHARE THI PHONE 6E...
==============================
()""()
( ,'o')") Hi!
(")(")
Wishing u..
G Morning
O
O
D
G
O Afternoon
O
D
G
O
O Evening
D
G
O
O
D Night
Surprized!

Hey,
This is 4in1 sms!
=====================
Jung me SANTA ne bullet proof jacket ki jagah machardani pehni.?
BANTA-Aisa q?
SANTA-Jisme machar nahi ghus sakta usme goli kaise ghusegi.
==================
Make a Mind which never minds..
Make a Heart which never hurts..
Make a Touch which never pains..
&..
Make a 'RELATION' which never Ends
====================
Samay ki tanhai me kho na jana
kisi ki masti me dub na jana
milegi jarur kal manzil aapko magar apni
manzil pakar is dost ko bhul na jana
========================
Srkar ne laga diya polythene pe ban

wah


Srkar ne laga diya polythne pe ban


Tere mast mst do nain,mere dil ka le gye chain. :-)1
========================